Gender roles in Japanese society irritate me. A lot. The injustices and double-standards women are subjected to here are almost too much to bear sometimes*. I could rant about the politics and rape culture in Japan for forever (I could rant about the same topics in America, as well), but I'll try to keep it a bit shallow for now.
A few weeks ago I was watching some variety/talk show on TV, where they were doing random top 5 lists. My Japanese is absolute fail, so I'm going to guess from the content of the segment that this top 5 was about easy things women can do to appear more desirable, attractive, and feminine at work. Some female "expert" on these matters would explain or demonstrate her recommendations, and the stereotypical pretty female co-host would try them in a role-play situation with one of the dumpy male comedians. Hilarity would then ensue.
I got through two of these recommendations before I turned off my TV. I tried to find videos of this on YouTube but couldn't, so I must describe what happened. The first was how to pick up and return a guy's pen if he happened to drop it in front of you. You should position yourself to pick up the pen at your side, rather than facing the pen head on. If you happen to be wearing a skirt, smooth your skirt under you as you gently kneel down. Don't bend both knees at the same angle as if you were squatting in a seiza position, keep one knee slightly higher. Your torso should be kept upright and the arm that is picking up the pen must be perfectly straight - it creates a very attractive line down the body. Pick up the pen, stand up keeping your arm in the same position, and extend your arm to the guy. Smile and say, "Excuse me, you dropped your pen. Here you are."
The second wasn't quite as bad. The "expert" said that women should face forward when putting up their hair in a ponytail, rather than looking down. I admit I put my hair up this way because it's easier on my neck and shoulders, and if both my hands are occupied I feel like I should be watching what's going on around me. However, according to the "expert" this is a far more attractive way to put up your hair, because people are able to see you with nice posture and take in the beauty of your face. If you bend your neck down while putting up your hair you kind of look like a disgusting troll.
I'm not so naive to think that appearances don't matter. The Japanese are especially concerned with how others perceive them, and its importance in society is summed up nicely with the phrase hito no me. But sometimes it seems the need to have the perfect outward facade outweighs more important things. Japan Today reported that pretty people who are as dumb as rocks will get the job more often than smart people with average looks. In their experiment, every single one of the models, even the ones who made themselves out to look like complete idiots, were hired over the average joes.
I do feel I've experienced this at work - something small I did or did not do regarding my appearance or demeanor was not up to snuff and I received not-so-nice comments about it. I don't feel comfortable detailing it on my very public blog, but it's always over something really dumb. I find it particularly annoying that my questions or concerns about important aspects of my job are regularly brushed aside or ignored, but small things I do concerning my appearance are up for discussion at all times. Our priorities, they are not in order.
However, my experiences would be 100x more enraging if those comments came from men. I mean, it's the same stupid expectations and it technically shouldn't matter who's enforcing them, men or women, but it does. My company employs mostly women, so if I have to smooth my skirt under my butt for a raise at least I'll know it's not because the boss likes staring at my ass. If I have to pour her beer after work, at least I know it's definitely because I'm of lower rank in the company and not because I'm the only woman at the table. It is disturbing to me that the idea that women have to be perfect and feminine in the workplace to get ahead seems to be accepted without much protest by Japanese women. Like they all collectively say, "Shikata ga nai, ne?" and go back to work.
But, again, what do I know? I'm just an uppity gaijin.
*I'll admit men put up with some bullshit expectations, but I think women have to tolerate far more.
I got through two of these recommendations before I turned off my TV. I tried to find videos of this on YouTube but couldn't, so I must describe what happened. The first was how to pick up and return a guy's pen if he happened to drop it in front of you. You should position yourself to pick up the pen at your side, rather than facing the pen head on. If you happen to be wearing a skirt, smooth your skirt under you as you gently kneel down. Don't bend both knees at the same angle as if you were squatting in a seiza position, keep one knee slightly higher. Your torso should be kept upright and the arm that is picking up the pen must be perfectly straight - it creates a very attractive line down the body. Pick up the pen, stand up keeping your arm in the same position, and extend your arm to the guy. Smile and say, "Excuse me, you dropped your pen. Here you are."
The second wasn't quite as bad. The "expert" said that women should face forward when putting up their hair in a ponytail, rather than looking down. I admit I put my hair up this way because it's easier on my neck and shoulders, and if both my hands are occupied I feel like I should be watching what's going on around me. However, according to the "expert" this is a far more attractive way to put up your hair, because people are able to see you with nice posture and take in the beauty of your face. If you bend your neck down while putting up your hair you kind of look like a disgusting troll.
I'm not so naive to think that appearances don't matter. The Japanese are especially concerned with how others perceive them, and its importance in society is summed up nicely with the phrase hito no me. But sometimes it seems the need to have the perfect outward facade outweighs more important things. Japan Today reported that pretty people who are as dumb as rocks will get the job more often than smart people with average looks. In their experiment, every single one of the models, even the ones who made themselves out to look like complete idiots, were hired over the average joes.
I do feel I've experienced this at work - something small I did or did not do regarding my appearance or demeanor was not up to snuff and I received not-so-nice comments about it. I don't feel comfortable detailing it on my very public blog, but it's always over something really dumb. I find it particularly annoying that my questions or concerns about important aspects of my job are regularly brushed aside or ignored, but small things I do concerning my appearance are up for discussion at all times. Our priorities, they are not in order.
However, my experiences would be 100x more enraging if those comments came from men. I mean, it's the same stupid expectations and it technically shouldn't matter who's enforcing them, men or women, but it does. My company employs mostly women, so if I have to smooth my skirt under my butt for a raise at least I'll know it's not because the boss likes staring at my ass. If I have to pour her beer after work, at least I know it's definitely because I'm of lower rank in the company and not because I'm the only woman at the table. It is disturbing to me that the idea that women have to be perfect and feminine in the workplace to get ahead seems to be accepted without much protest by Japanese women. Like they all collectively say, "Shikata ga nai, ne?" and go back to work.
But, again, what do I know? I'm just an uppity gaijin.
*I'll admit men put up with some bullshit expectations, but I think women have to tolerate far more.
Agree, agree and agree some more.
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