NOT DEAD

If you're still reading this blog, you're awesome!

So in the last year and four months:

• I decided grad school wasn't in my future
• Quit my job
• Got an internship that was pretty sweet
• Quit my next job
• Moved to SAN FRANCISCO

I've complained about my beautiful but boring and socially toxic Hawaii Nei before, so it should come as no surprise that I had to get out.

Now I'm in the city and looking for work! I've applied to at least one place every day for the last three weeks, some days up to five, so... we'll just say I'm almost at 50 applications and I still haven't found a job.

I was officially turned down from like 4 of those.

Anyway, I've moved up here with a few creative friends and maybe we'll put our talents together to start some cool things. My dearest Marissa from my English teacher days has already bugged me about a big project, which I do hope will materialize one day but it's a long way off.

Here's to updating this blog more! At least I have a new header and background!

GTFO 2012!

I still have people reading this blog, I suppose.

I have neglected my poor blog for so long now. It has been MONTHS since I last updated. Terrible. I hope you'll forgive my absence.

I moved back home, went through a horrible transition period of reverse homesickness and constant self-doubt, and now I've come out at the other end of the tunnel with a brighter outlook on my future. I applied to a graduate program and am working, though I'll hopefully find a better paying job in the new year. If I'm accepted into school I won't start until next August or September, so I have time to do things. What things I don't know, but if something comes along I'll have fun.

2012 was good to me. Good enough, anyway. Taught some English, traveled a little, met a bunch of wonderful people in Japan, met another bunch of wonderful people when I came back. I miss my concrete jungle, as frustrating as it is to live in sometimes, but at the same time I'm okay with having returned to Hawaii.

According to the Chinese Zodiac and feng shui things my mother does, I'm going to have an awful year and I have to put random things around my room and the house to protect myself from the fates from murdering me. The fire rabbit and water snake don't get along. Hope I don't die.

I don't know where this blog will be going, since I'm not in Japan and I have no plans to go back at the moment. Living on a rock SUCKS so much, I am so bored you have no idea. I'll try to make it work.

OKAY 2013 LET'S DO THIS.

Last Gift

I won't say I hated my job with every fiber of my being, though it felt very near to it at times. My students and their hilarious antics helped me endure even the worst days and I'll miss some of them dearly.

On my very last day, the mother of one of my favorite students gave me this box. I didn't open it in front of her and I was half certain it was something I'd keep out of guilt rather than genuine appreciation.

To my most pleasant surprise, I opened it to find a gorgeous wind chime. I had been looking for one to take home with me and I figured I'd settle for a cheap one from a 100yen shop. I was shocked to receive this hand-painted glass orb from a department store. I hadn't said anything to anyone about wanting one, I'd only been thinking about it. 

I don't want it to blow away in the wind or break on the balcony so it's staying inside for now.

The same mother also sent a card with photos to my Hawaii address. She said the family will come to visit the islands next year and she'd like to see me then. I don't know if her son will remember me, but I look forward to it nonetheless.

Stuff

When I came home two weeks ago, I was immediately overwhelmed with the amount of things in my room.

I threw out a lot when I left my old apartment - books, clothes, bedding, the crap on my balcony that was left from previous teachers that none of the Japanese staff at my school felt they needed to deal with - but I still managed to send home five decent-sized boxes. It was a task that took two months.

To organize my room in Hawaii is going to take that long or longer.

Yeah, it's a freaking mess. I have so far received four of the five big boxes I sent myself. They aren't as big as I remember them to be. I ripped open the two I got today and was like WOOT CHRISTMAS IN AUGUST! WHAT DID I SEND MYSELF??? I also found that everything has a funny, gasoline-like stench! I managed to separate colors and whites and delicates but didn't quite make it to washing it all. The first two boxes didn't stink, I put everything away just fine. Ugh.


Before the postman attacked me with my stuff, I did manage to give away a box overflowing with old clothes. I threw out at least a dozen bottles of grody nail polish and all my old make-up. I got rid of every little maybe-one-day-I'll wear/use/need-it thing I could. I'M GETTING THERE OKAY IT'S A PROCESS.

I have a bunch of mini-projects under the big umbrella goal of ORGANIZATION.

• WASH OR STEAM EVERYTHING GOODNESS IT SMELLS.
• Burn and get rid of all the CDs I can bear to part with right now.
• Put all my trinkets and doo-dads in one place so I can give them away to friends easily.

The half you can see - my stuff.
The half you can't see - mom's stuff.

I can't throw out everything because a portion of it belongs to my parents, who used my empty closet space for their belongings. I have no plans set in stone for living in Hawaii or moving to colder climates, so getting rid of winter clothes might be a bad idea. I did leave with most of my big dresser empty (a pleasant surprise) and there are a lot of half-empty containers in my closet.

BUT OMG I'M SO READY TO GET RID OF HALF THIS CRAP AND NOT THINK TWICE ABOUT IT.

My third box of GET THIS CRAP OUT OF HERE items.

Seriously I have to steam or hand wash all those scarves
because they smell like disgusting container ship EW.

Doing all of this has forced me to examine how I acquired all of it and the attitude I have toward material things.

I thought I did a pretty good job in Japan about not buying useless things. I tried to ask myself the following:

DO YOU NEED THIS?

WILL YOU USE/WEAR IT? (If you'll wear it, HOW MANY OUTFITS CAN YOU MAKE WITH IT? WILL YOU STILL WEAR IT IN 3 MONTHS? 6 MONTHS? A YEAR?)

DO YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE TO PUT IT?

DO THE ANSWERS TO THE PREVIOUS QUESTIONS JUSTIFY THE COST?

BONUSES: WILL YOU HAVE TO REPLACE IT? WOULD BUYING A MORE EXPENSIVE VERSION BE BETTER IN THE LONG RUN?

I should have started asking myself these questions a long time ago! Then I wouldn't have to get rid of so much JUNK now because I wouldn't have bought it in the first place ughhh.

I do feel bad about throwing things out that were given to me as gifts. Screw whatever I bought when I wanted to be stupid with my money, but presents that people took time to pick out for me or they just had to buy it for me when they saw it or whatever... that's hard. Photos are hard to throw out as well, but I haaaaaaaaate trying to organize photo albums bleh.

In other news, I applied for a real job and I'm just kinda waiting around for that. I'll be cleaning if you need me.

Things I Miss About Japan #13: Sunscreen

I'm back home and BOY does it kinda suck.

Shopping isn't what I've grown accustomed to. Not just for clothes, but beauty products and household items in general. One thing I REALLY REALLY REALLY came to love was Japanese liquid sunscreen and even aerosol sunblock, like this stuff:

They're so much lighter and smell much better than American ones. They soak into my skin quickly and leave a very faint scent that only I can smell if I put my arm right up against my nose and inhale. These work just as well as the thick gross stuff we normally use in America.

There's even weird powder sunblock in five fun cloud puff things. It leaves your skin looking like a Stephanie Meyer vampire so I didn't buy one but it's interesting.

I never bothered with sunblock in America is because it STINKS. Everyone within 10 feet of me knows I'm wearing it. On top of that, I feel it on my skin and sweating off AND IT'S GROSS. When I played water polo in high school, I'd purposefully glob that stuff on so I'd be slippery in the water and my opponents couldn't keep a grip on me. It's okay to be stinky and greasy in the pool, just not anywhere else.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when I found that Neutrogena sells a watery liquid sunscreen!

I bought a bottle to compare to my favorite Japanese brand. I'll admit I use a lot of Neutrogena acne care and face wash products so I've some brand loyalty going on here, but I honestly haven't seen anything else like this.

Both are compact and purse-friendly. The Nivea one is on sale in Japan for like 300-400 yen, so about $5/bottle. The Neutrogena one was like $11 ugh. I'm no expert at this crazy metric system, but I'm pretty sure milliliters equal the same amount of space or something as grams, so the Nivea one has more sunblockin' goodness in it. Like double. FOR HALF THE PRICE WTF.

AND IT DOESN'T EVEN GO ON THE SAME. The Nivea one is thinner and spreads a lot easier than the Neutrogena one. The Neutrogena sunscreen is far more to my liking than most American sunscreens but it's still icky and kinda smelly and meh. Nivea is on the left, Neutrogena on the right.

Thankfully they both soak in pretty quickly. I couldn't tell a difference between the two once they were dry.

EDIT: I put on quite a bit of the Neutrogena one today and my hands feel chalky. I've washed my hands more than once but it still feels weird. It also feels a bit greasy on my arms, so ew not using this unless I have to.

I guess it's a fair alternative but I LIKE THE JAPANESE STUFF BETTER OKAY. IT'S CHEAPER AND NOT STINKY AND WORKS JUST AS WELL AS THE GROSS STUFF FROM AMERICA.