The Tampon Incident

READER BEWARE: This post contains swearing and excessive use of the Caps Lock key. You have been warned.

I am a woman. I am relatively healthy. I could eat better and exercise more, but I digress. As far as I know, my bodily functions are all in order because of my good health. I am of child-bearing age and menstruate regularly, which means things get a little bloody about once a month. This is a completely normal and expected part of my ovulation cycle. Sometimes the timing of these normal bodily functions overlap with my work schedule.

"Who threw away tampons in the trash?"

I did. It wasn't the bloody used tampon, just the applicator in the wrapper. If you need a diagram for why tampons have applicators, Google is your friend.

I flush the used tampons, put the applicator back in the wrapper (Japanese ones allow for this), and throw the wrapped applicator into a trash can that has a lid and is located behind a curtain.

"Please don't throw them away there."

I honestly couldn't think of an alternative and I'm sure my face made that obvious.

"Please take them home with you."

WHY IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST WOULD I DO THAT??? JUST HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT, EXACTLY??? PUT IT BACK IN MY PURSE AND LET IT FESTER IN MY BAG ALL DAY WHILE I'M AT WORK???

"Yes."

SHE SAID THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, TOO. CARLY, PUT THAT SHIT BACK IN YOUR BAG. IT DOESN'T BELONG IN THE TRASH AT WORK. IT BELONGS IN YOUR TRASH AT HOME.

AND WITH WHAT SORT OF ASS BACKWARDS MOST LIKELY MISOGYNISTIC REASONING ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO CONVINCE ME THAT THIS IS EVEN SLIGHTLY OKAY??? BECAUSE AT THIS VERY MOMENT THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST DISGUSTING THINGS I HAVE EVER BEEN SERIOUSLY TOLD TO DO.

"All Japanese women do this."

FUCK THAT. FUCK THAT. FUCK THAT. FUCK THAT.

ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT EVERY MENSTRUATING WOMAN IN JAPAN DOES THIS??? SCHOOL GIRLS, OFFICE LADIES, HOUSEWIVES GO AROUND CARRYING THEIR USED PADS AND TAMPONS IN THEIR BAGS ALL DAY IN ORDER TO THROW THEM AWAY AT HOME??? THEY CARRY THEIR USED FEMININE PRODUCTS IN RESTAURANTS, ON THE TRAIN, IN THE OFFICE, AND IN THEIR SCHOOLBAGS???

SO EVERYWHERE THERE IS A WOMAN WITH A BAG SHE IS POTENTIALLY CARRYING ALL HER USED PADS AND TAMPONS??? THAT IF SHE FORGOT TO THROW THEM AWAY THE DAY BEFORE THEY'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR THAT MUCH LONGER???

THIS IS NOT OKAY. THIS IS SOME FORM OF SHAMING AND UNSANITARY. THIS IS NOT A CULTURAL STANDARD I AM EVER GOING TO EVEN CONSIDER FOLLOWING. FUCK THAT.

OKAY SERIOUSLY YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DEFEND THIS WITH.

"Moms can't throw away diapers here."

BECAUSE DIAPERS ARE FULL OF FECES AND URINE. THEIR KIDS ARE HERE FOR AN HOUR. THAT DIAPER WILL BE IN THE TRASH CAN UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY, AND THEN IN A TRASH BAG BEHIND THE CURTAIN IN THE BATHROOM UNTIL THE NEXT TRASH DAY.

MY TAMPON APPLICATOR HAS MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE THE SMALLEST SMEAR OF BLOOD ON IT. YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SMELL IT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TRASH CAN. YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T SMELL IT IF IT WAS ON TOP OF THE TRASH CAN.

AND YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THEM UNTIL I'D BEEN WORKING HERE FOR FOUR MONTHS.

YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. USED DIAPERS DO NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY COMPARE TO USED TAMPON APPLICATORS.

ANYTHING ELSE???

"The men might see it in the trash when they clean the bathroom."

OH.

THE POOR MEN.

THINK OF THE POOR MEN.

THEY MIGHT GET COOTIES. THEY MIGHT FEEL ICKY AT THE SIGHT OF A TAMPON WRAPPER. THEY MIGHT THINK OF A BLEEDING VAGINA AND WANT TO CUT OFF THEIR PENISES.

YOU POOR THINGS CAN GET USED TO IT. I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS DAMNED MENSTRUATION CYCLE EVERY MONTH SINCE I WAS 12. I HAVE TO TAKE 800MG OF IBUPROFEN EVERY FOUR HOURS JUST TO FUNCTION. PERIOD SHITS ARE REALLY FUN, TOO. IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE KICK YOU IN THE NUTS EVERY FIVE MINUTES WHEN YOU HAVE DIARRHEA,  MAYBE I'LL THINK OF YOU POOR MEN.

UNTIL THEN YOU CAN GLANCE AT MY FUCKING TAMPON WRAPPER IN THE TRASH WHERE IT BELONGS AND BE A GODDAMN ADULT ABOUT IT.

IF YOU ARE WONDERING IF THIS ENTIRE STORY REALLY HAPPENED, IT DID. TODAY. THOSE QUOTES ARE REAL.


SO FUCKING GROSS ON SO MANY LEVELS.