I Survived the JLPT

This past Sunday I and many other foreigners all across this great nation took the Japanese Language Proficiency Test!

Seriously.

Since I live in Saitama my assigned test site was Saitama Daigaku, which seemed like a typical Japanese campus and thankfully nothing terrible stood out about the place.

I got to my test room about 15 minutes before the test began, and it was almost all men in the room! It was quite intimidating walking in and having all these eyes staring at me, and all men on the side by the door so I had to keep my best bitch-face on so no one would talk to me. There were two other American-looking girls, maybe two Filipino girls, and two really loud Chinese girls. I nervously took a seat at the back because one of the proctors was speaking and I did NOT want anymore attention, but he came over and told me there was assigned seating and led me to my seat. Embarrassing!

My nerves settled down as we started the exam period, mostly because it took so damn long to even start. Each test section began with a 15-minute block of time dedicated to checking our test vouchers, checking that we were in the correct seats, passing out the exam materials, and filling in information on the test booklets. They checked our pictures on the test vouchers THREE TIMES. And there were two 30-minute breaks between the test sections, so we all wasted at least an hour and 45 minutes doing nothing. I was annoyed.

The test itself wasn't too bad. The test prep book I bought was well worth the money and I knew how to do each section of the exam without thinking about it. Practicing online with iKnow also helped a lot, there were at least a dozen items on the test I knew directly from that study service. There were a few items I blindly guessed on, but I felt confident on at least 85% of the written exam.

The listening section was harder, but only because I cannot bubble in numbers very quickly. The conversations were fine but I'd only get through bubbling in half of the answer and the next question would start, and then I'd get all panicky and flustered and miss something. I think I did okay, though.

Overall, I'm glad I took it and I came out of the test a lot more confident than I thought I would. I will receive the results of the exam next February. In the meantime, I'm going to buy the new Sandaime J Soul Brothers album + dvd + live dvd tomorrow as a reward for all my hard work!

WORK IT, NAOKI. I love muscles, too!

Things the Japanese Do: Go to the Doctor for Everything

I was the unfortunate victim of food poisoning this past Wednesday. Dinner came back up the way it went down at about 2:30am and I spent the rest of the night running to the bathroom. I didn't get much rest and I certainly didn't feel good, but I also knew skipping work the next day would be pretty bad. I got through my Thursday classes, slept a good 12 hours that night, and still wasn't 100% better today but I got through it.

I didn't go to the doctor since I knew what made me sick and I doubt any doctor could give you medicine to cure food poisoning. I took some good ol' Pepto-Bismol, tried to keep hydrated, and didn't have any problems.

The best things in life are pink~

This is generally what we do in America when we get sick - self-diagnose and medicate with over-the-counter drugs. If you've got the sniffles and a cough, you take some Dayquil to survive the workday, eat some soup when you get home and go to bed early. If you're still sick after a while or you get worse, then you go to the doctor. If you're prone to getting sick in certain ways and already know what the doctor's going to tell you since you've been there a million times before with the same thing, you skip going altogether and treat yourself unless you need a prescription.

I can think of a few female friends who have been prone to urinary tract infections. Maybe their moms or sisters got them a lot, too, so it's not necessarily something they can always avoid and the infections just sort of happen. They drink a lot of fluids, namely cranberry juice, and maybe buy a bottle of cranberry pills. It's not a big deal and they know at what point they should visit the doctor, if ever.

It's very different, and not necessarily better, in Japan. People go to the doctor for every little thing in this country. The first time I wore glasses to work my manager asked why I was wearing them, and I told her my eyes felt a little dry so I decided to skip wearing contacts. I suppose she immediately assumed my eyes were going to fall out of my head and asked me three times if I needed to go to the doctor.

One of my coworkers went to the doctor last week and I'm still not convinced they needed to. They were fine the night before when I left work, but still somehow needed to take half a day off the next day came in looking perfectly fine at 2pm. Did I mention I went to work half dead after puking and pooing my brains out the night before? Another coworker once went to the doctor for a headache and came to work 2 hours later. If I did that back home I'm pretty sure the doctor would tell me to go get some aspirin and laugh about it with the nurses.

Having a fever is also the ultimate kiss of death in this country. If you have a fever, you NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR NOW. Back home, I'd probably take some ibuprofen and drink more water. You can call in sick with a fever and be left alone, but if you have any other sort of severe symptoms like having lost your voice or body aches you better be at work or school. Kids come to class with all sorts of disgusting sicknesses going on, but if they have a fever moms will keep them at home as if that were the only legitimate reason to do so.

"Suck it up, Timmy! Time to go to English school!"

I realize part of this attitude comes from the fact that the Japanese have this great nationalized healthcare  system (paying to see a doctor? PSH we don't do that here) and there are tons of little private practices all over the place. In my neighborhood alone, there are a bunch of chiropractors, pediatricians, and dentists, and there are at least two women's clinics within reasonable walking distance; there's also an English-speaking doctor on the other side of my station. If you don't like a doctor at one clinic, you can try a bunch of other clinics in a relatively small area until you find one you like. Even in a comparable metropolitan area in the US, it's just not as easy to get to a doctor's office and you're kinda stuck with whoever your insurance allows you to see. Why would you go to the doctor in America? You're better off diagnosing yourself and drinking 10 bottles of cranberry juice.

I haven't been to the doctor yet since coming here, although by Japanese standards I'm sure I've had a few episodes that warranted a trip. Maybe I'll call out the next time I have a headache.

Nordic Print Tampons

I've said in previous posts how everything marketed to women in Japan has to have some sort of OMG SUPER KAWAII element to it, and apparently tampons are no exception. Allow me to showcase my latest find: Nordic print tampons!

Seriously - why do these even exist? Japan loves its seasonal themed crap, I know, and I share in that love every time I go to a convenience store and see new stupid drinks or snacks. I suppose Nordic print is everywhere because it's cold like the Nordic countries of northern Europe (although not really), so why not put it on tampons? At least they didn't cost any more than the normal print ones.

Better watch out for this starry night design, too!

Yet unfailingly, I was reminded at the register of how ridiculous this all is. I told the cashier I didn't need a bag since I'd be tossing it into my big work bag, but she still wanted to wrap the box in brown paper. IT'S A SNAZZY NORDIC PRINT, WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO SHOW OFF MY AWESOME FEMININE HYGIENE PRODUCTS TO EVERYONE I KNOW??? Oh, that's right, because it's still a tampon box and it would be so mortifying to be seen carrying it. I do wonder if the Nordic print will throw off my manager from realizing it's a tampon...

In other news, I took a picture with a big poster of Aiba in a train station. VERY DANGER.

Now if only I could somehow rip that poster off the pole...

Conversations With My Students: RUDE.

Teenage boys have a way with words.

Keep reading.

A way long time ago, I accidentally taught Slightly Racist Teenager the term "muffin top." Not one of my finest moments, but it was pretty funny. He brought it up again in class recently:

Me: Tell me a story. A funny story, like the time your friend had his crepe stolen from him by a crow.
SRT: Ah... *Thinks for a moment* On the news they have an English corner. They teach you words. Last week they had "muffin top."
Me: Oh no...
SRT: Yes and my mother said, "Oh I don't know that," but I knew *grin*.
Me: Of all the things I've tried to teach you...

Dearest Caroline relayed this one to me about one of her own Despondent Teenagers. We have lots of siblings at our school, and her DT has a younger brother who is a bit heavier.

Caroline: How are you?
DT: Tired.
Caroline: How's your brother?
DT: Fat.

And you know what his brother told me when I had him for a private lesson?

Me: Why do you like English?
Fat Younger Brother: *In Japanese* Because my brother does it.
Me: *Knowing about his brother's comment* Awwww you are so precious...

Recently the two brothers were in the lobby of the school together. Despondent Teenager came out from class and was none too happy that his younger brother was going on about something and very excited to see him. He quickly put on his shoes and went outside to get his umbrella, and I motioned to him to come back inside to wait for his brother.

INSTEAD he sticks his head in the door and says, "See you!" and waves goodbye to his poor little admirer.

Rude. Hilarious, but rude.

Photos from my weekend

I went to Odaiba on Sunday. I had wanted to see Mt. Takao and all the leaves changing color on the mountain, but the weather forecast had predicted rain so I decided against it.  But it turned out to be a beautiful day, which was nice but also sucked since I'd already scrapped the plans for Takao. Oh well.

The view from this little offshoot in the park was amazing. The graffiti on the railings was also kind of cool.

Only in Japan would you mark your eternal love on a railing

with the Emperor dating system XD

H17 = Heisei year 17 = 2005

Ai ai gasa~

Walking around Venus Fort, there was a looooooooong line going outside the mall that went on for ages. There weren't any signs to indicate what was going on, but there was a big event happening - A HANDSHAKE EVENT FOR SEXY ZONE!

Sexy Zone is the newest Johnny's Entertainment group to debut, but given the youngest member is 11 and 3/5 of the group haven't hit puberty yet, the name is terribly misleading. But all these girls my age and older were waiting in line to touch their magical sexy hands!

That line went out the mall and went for at least half a kilometer.
I did not ask anyone how long the wait was.

And I tried a fun new wintery alcoholic beverage! These Kirin Chu-hi things are pretty disgusting, but this one was less so because of the apple. Still, I had to force myself to drink half the can. Blech.

109yen well wasted.

Tomorrow is Japanese Labor Day, so I get ANOTHER holiday this month! Woot!