Things the Japanese Do: Think "silly" is a cuss word

Recently my brother has taken to chiding my mother and father for using the word "stupid." He says it's a bad word that we shouldn't use. Instead, we should substitute the word "silly" for when we'd normally opt for "stupid."

They wouldn't air it in Japan if it was "Two Silly Dogs."

As a native English speaker, I can tell you with all authority that this is perfectly fine in most situations. "Stupid" can have a very negative connotation, especially when combined with other 4-letter words. However, "silly" has no weight to it. For example, let me present two phrases:

1) You are so stupid.
2) You are so silly.

The first phrase is quite legitimate and I'm sure most native speakers have heard it before or even hurled it at someone themselves. You would be calling someone an idiot and thems is definitely fightin' words. I can almost guarantee that you will never hear the second one in any sort of serious confrontation or argument, because it is simply too fluffy. It's more of a light comment you'd make after seeing a baby animal or small child do something cute, or a phrase you could use if you were a writer for Monty Python.

In the completely logical country of Japan, this is not the case. In my personal experience, "silly" is considered a heinous taboo word that should never be uttered.

In one of my classes this past spring, a young child made a small mistake and I said, "Oh [dear child whose mother I loathe], don't be silly!" The mother later complained to my manager that I had called her child "silly." I have written about my work situation before, so I will just say that we did not come to an understanding about the word "silly" as native speakers see it. Because you know, we should disregard whatever the native speaker says about their own language in regard to how a non-native speaker misinterprets it.

My grandmother student has also said that "silly" is a terrible word to use and has warned us against using it with her granddaughter. I should really bring it up in class one day and assure her that there are far more filthy terms at a native speaker's disposal when dealing with children. I did successfully teach her the term "brat" and she even used it in class to describe said granddaughter.

Japanese people do have a strange affinity for the word "crazy." I realize we use this term to describe a variety of things, but it can quickly become rude when describing people. I hear a lot of, "My kid is so crazy!" "S/he is so crazy!" and they don't mean to be offensive but I know to many people it would be. Yet no one in Japan would ever talk about mental health issues or people who are actually foaming at the mouth and rambling about how their best friend Zombie Satan wears a fedora on Tuesdays, so trying to explain things like that under most circumstances would be useless.

I think I should make a list of words to use instead of "silly." If I can't use silly, perhaps "fuckwit" is a better substitution. Suggestions welcome.

EXILE in Hawaii???

Indeed friends, it is (kind of) true.

EXILE's clothing line 24 Karats has a surf shop in Waikiki!

I've never been to the Tokyo EXILE shop or even seen any 24 Karats merchandise in person, so I didn't know what to expect walking into the store. After dining in the L'Arc cafe I knew the shop might be decked out in EXILE photos and videos; but I also know no one in America knows who they are and given the location in Waikiki it might look like a high-end surf shop.

I'd say it leaned more toward the tourist-y side, completely true to Waikiki form. The shop is reminiscent of a luxury beach house out on the North Shore or in Kahala, with white walls, wood floors and furniture, and lots of natural light coming through the windows. The one TV screen in the shop was playing surf videos and there weren't any obvious references to the EXILE brand and certainly no EXILE goods.

But there was a wall of photos, and I think I recognized a few guys.

I spy with my little eye... Takahiro, Atsushi, Tetsuya <3, Shokichi, and Matsu. My mom was looking at the wall with me and pointed to Takahiro, asking, "Who's he? He's cute!" Yeah, he's dreamy. It's the dimples (until he takes his shirt off then it's about his abs kyaaaa~).

But I like Tetsuya so I sat in the spot on the couch that he did heh heh.

I went on Christmas Eve and saw a shirt I wanted, but I went back earlier today and they didn't have them anymore! The women's clothing is generally lacking, though all the men's t-shirts are nice.

Guess I'll have to visit the Tokyo store and buy something overpriced there.

A Note to 2012

Hey 2012.


Just a few things on how to be awesome. First, some general points:

1. Try not to be a dick with the natural disasters. 2011 REALLY messed that up in an epic fashion. We're still recovering from those and we don't need more to deal with.

2. Get that global economy back on track. It'd be nice.

3. America kind of sucks right now, can you make it suck less? I know 2011 kinda screwed us over with the batshit crazy GOP presidential candidates and a sitting president who's less than hopey-changey these days, but you can do better.

4. Take advantage of that whole Mayan calendar ending thing. "The world will end as we know it." That's not a terrible thing, because the world as I know it isn't full of rainbows and bunnies and Nyan cats.

5. Keep the internet memes coming.

Personal points:

1. Related to the America-sucking-less point, I need Japan to suck less as well. I'd like to live there for a while longer without wanting to gaijin smash everything.

2. 2011 gave me all these great new wonderful people in my life. Keep that up, I like having funny kids in class and people to see on the weekends.

3. My family is happy and healthy. My friends are happy and healthy. I'm happy and healthy. Keep that up.

4. 2011 was a Rabbit year and I did all right, but 2012 is a Dragon year and that's kind of frightening. Make sure it doesn't eat me alive.

5. More j-boys. Sandaime J Soul Brothers is like the best thing ever, thanks to 2011. Top that.

And just so you're not alone in this, here are some things I'm going to strive for:

1. Pass JLPT N3 and improve my Japanese all around.

2. Expand my social circle in Japan. And not at international mixers, those are terrible.

3. See, do, experience more. I want great memories and stories, not useless stuff.

Let's do it, 2012!

Aw, you think you're important?

I was never very keen on talking to complete strangers.

Yesterday I was at Barnes and Noble, the only big chain bookstore left in America, asking about a book on North Korea. With Dear Leader's demise there's obviously been an increased interest in the country, and I've had my own interest piqued in both Koreas since moving to Japan. I've been reading more articles about the post-war friction between Japan and South Korea, particularly the tension surrounding the issue of comfort women, and I'm slowly collecting titles of books I want to read.

I had wanted to pick up Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick, a book about the lives of some North Korean defectors, but they were out of stock. My mentioning the country was apparently some random woman's cue to start talking to me.

"Oh you're interested in North Korea? Why is that?"

I thought it was kind of a dumb question considering who had just died, but I politely answered, "I moved to Japan and I'm trying to learn more about the politics of the region."

"I used to live in North Korea!"

"Oh, really? Are you a defector?"

She gave me a coy smile. "Oh no, I lived there for four years. My husband was the head of the UN there. We used to have dinner with Kim Il-sung all the time. My husband used to be on TV every night and people would recognize him and think he was a god, since he was seen with Kim Il-sung."

About then was when I reached my maximum bullshit level for the day, so I politely excused myself. I tried to find a list of UN people in hopes of finding a photo or something but I couldn't, most likely because this woman was lying.

Supposing all your claims are true, random lady from Barnes and Noble, do you really think I care about your husband's former title? Did you want a gold star sticker for all the wine you had to drink and food you had to eat at Mr. Kim's table while his Communist regime allowed his own people to starve to death? Did you or your husband ever do anything to try to alleviate the suffering of everyday citizens? Do you care that most people there are brainwashed into thinking the entire Kim family are immortal gods who control the weather? Do you even care about some of the horrific things that are written in the very book I was asking about?

Obviously it doesn't matter how many titles you acquire in your lifetime, you can still be a complete idiot. Nonetheless, thank you random lady for reaffirming the advice my mother gave me as a child: don't talk to strangers. 

They might make you that much dumber for having to talk to them.

Conversations with My Students: Spelling is Fun!

Once a week I am blessed to be in the presence of five very high-level older elementary school students. They range in age from 10 to 12, and they're all very well-rounded kids who tend to have a little too much fun in my class. There are four girls and one boy, so naturally the boy gets picked on a lot.

Photo mostly unrelated. I did make those at work :)

In Ms. Carly's class, Japanese is never to be spoken unless you want your chair taken away. But they're not quite old enough to have learned swear words in English, so the girls recently figured out a clever way to insult the boy. Apparently he had been doing some impersonation or generally acting stupid the entire class, so the girls had to point it out.

Unrequited Love Girl: Carly, Carly! The Boy is a B-A-K-A (idiot).
Other three girls: AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Idol Girl: No, no, he is H-E-N-T-A-I.
The Boy: *Thinks for a moment* Japanese is hentai (horny/perverted).
Girls: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
ULG: Ah no he is... S-U-K-E-B-A!
Me: B-A? Are you sure? I think it's B-E.
ULG: B-E?
Me: S-U-K-E-B-E. Not sukeba.
ULG: Ah okay. The Boy is S-U-K-E-B-E (pervert/lecherous).
Other three girls: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Twihard: The Boy is so funny... *nearly dies laughing*

At this point everyone, including The Boy, are in tears from laughing so hard. Unrequited Love Girl (she has a pencil case that says that) was clutching her stomach saying it hurt from laughing, and that in turn made everyone laugh MORE. I'm surprised no one came in to see what all the noise was about.